Romance Blooms with Showers of Confidence

 

Men are highly sensitive to signals of doubt because doubt plagues them.
If you continually give off signals of doubt, you will confirm the fear of inadequacy that lurks deep within your husband.

If a man believes he doesn’t have what it takes to please you, there’s not much chance he’ll attempt romance.

“A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands” (Proverbs 14:1).

Doubting your husband and his abilities tears away at a man; conferring confidence builds him up.
A confident man is grateful to the one who believes in him.

Do you have confidence in your husband, or do you find yourself regularly second-guessing him?

Do you struggle with doubt when it comes to his abilities?
He needs to be supported by your confidence in him

• at home
• in the workplace
• and in his dream for the future.

At home, I wanted Tom involved with the discipline of our children but was rarely pleased with his methods. I thought he was too strict and should be more understanding. Instead of communicating clearly with Tom about my concerns, I undermined his authority by smoothing things over with the kids behind his back.

My actions conveyed a lack of confidence in my husband.

I sabotaged our parenting and our marriage.

· Our kids learned their parents weren’t always on the same team, so if they worked on the more lenient parent, they might get their way.

· Tom felt hurt and angry.

Doubting my husband didn’t open any doors to romance!

The media constantly broadcast fear and doubt concerning the future. Against this tidal wave of doom and gloom,

it’s difficult for a man to confidently believe that God has planned a hopeful future for him.

When my husband was going through a job transition a couple of years ago, it became apparent he was struggling with doubt over his ability to succeed in a new venture. He was really down one day when he commented, “Most men don’t make a job change at fifty.”

I asked,

“Who says?”
He rewarded me with a smile from ear to ear.

Tom’s words weren’t so much a statement of fact as they were a question—he was asking me if I believed he could successfully make a job change at fifty.

A wise wife counteracts the media’s message of fear with a daily dose of confidence.

Inspiring confidence in your husband is like pouring water on dry, thirsty ground.

What seeds of potential lie dormant within your husband, waiting for the showers of your confidence?

What does your husband dream of doing?

Let your husband know that you believe in him. 

If you don’t, who will?

Breathe words of confidence into your husband today and watch as he stands taller with every word spoken.

That said, pray about which ones to encourage. If your husband’s dreams take him in a direction that worries you, consider your concerns.
Are they rooted in selfishness or fear?

Turn to God and give Him your worries.
Conferring confidence invites your husband to romance.

Could your love-life benefit from showers of confidence? 

Trust Leads to Romance

 

 

Trust Leads to Romance

What stirs the embers of romance deep inside you?

· Loving Words

· Touch

· A Night Out?

Maybe you haven’t thought about romance lately because of busyness, fatigue, disillusionment, or hopelessness.

I’ve been there too.

But romance with the man you love may not be as elusive as you might think.

Though we all desire romance—every woman longs to be

noticed, pursued, and adored—few of us realize that…

our words and actions may serve as stumbling blocks rather than invitations for the man in our life to woo us romantically.

If this is true, then we’re sabotaging the very romance we desire. Reminds me of the saying,

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”

Do you like what you’re experiencing in regard to romance?

If not, ask yourself if you’re more likely to trust OR control your husband.

You’ve seen the controlling type.
Most women on TV sitcoms struggle with control. They walk all over the men they’re with and it bothers us.

It’s easy to detect control in others, but are you guilty of similar actions?

Let’s look deeper and find out.

1. Do you correct your husband?

2. Do you instruct your husband?

3. Do you improve your husband?

Do you correct your husband’s pronunciation or perhaps the

telling of a story when you know he’s got the facts mixed up?

When you correct your husband you’re telling him he did something wrong.

In this position you’ve become his mother. And that’s a romance killer if there ever was one.

Do you instruct your husband when he drives, performs

tasks, or helps out with the kids?

When you instruct your husband, you’re sending the message, “You don’t know how to do this.”

In this position you become the teacher who highlighted his ineptitude. Exposed, he’ll either shrink or strike back, rather than pursue.

Do you improve your husband?

In the past, I’ve tried to improve Tom’s appearance whenever possible. Once, when dressing for dinner at an elegant restaurant on vacation, I wore a vintage cashmere jacket with pearls and heels while Tom wore an improbable, wrinkled ensemble worthy of an episode of What Not to Wear. Yet, I didn’t say a word! (Some of you may be appreciating the restraint that required!) If I’d shared my fashion-improvement advice with him, I would have sent the romance-spoiling message, “You could have done better.”

In what areas do you try to improve your husband?

When we correct, instruct, and improve, we justify our actions by saying we’re just trying to help when, in reality, the measures we employ have more to do with fear—the fear that we won’t get what we want or we’ll get it too late.

Whenever our actions are borne of fear, the results we experience will be disappointing at best!

Give your fears to God and trust your husband with new words and actions…

Inviting him to romance.

Pick up  The Beautiful Wife.

Tammy♥

The Beautiful Wife and Kindle Fire Giveaway!

Want a Growing Marriage?

My husband and I were reading a financial book about how to make your money grow when one of the principles jumped off the page at me:

What you focus on grows. 

Because it’s such a simple principle, I couldn’t get it out of my mind and began applying it to all areas of life, especially relationships.

Most women have the desire to grow a more intimate relationship with their husband

yet  few  focus  their  desire  long  enough  to  do  anything  about  it.
Thus, nothing changes. 

• Ignorance, 
• Distractions, and/or
• hopelessness are often to blame.

I should know. Just 19 when I said, “I do”, I was ignorant about how to grow my marriage.  Our pre-marriage counseling consisted of one two-hour meeting with my pastor and that wasn’t enough to prepare me for the emotional, spiritual, and verbal abuse my husband doled out on a regular basis.   The abuse produced pain and grief.
I could think of little else than surviving. 

Hope for our future crumbled.

Over time, I began sharing my pain with a few trusted, godly women.  Venting my pain and hearing their honest feed-back helped me see that the abuse I was suffering wasn’t my fault. 

I  began seeing a Christian counselor who gave me tools that helped restore me to a place of strength and dignity. 

The best choice I made was to dig into God’s word and find out what He wanted to say to me about my marriage.  In the Bible I found the following verses which applied to my situation:

· “…Your godly lives will speak to them [husbands] better than any words.  They will be won over by watching your pure godly behavior.” (I Peter 3:1,2) In place of preaching to my husband, I began entrusting my difficult situation to God through prayer—listening for His instruction.

· “Instead, we will hold to the truth in love…” (Ephesians 4:15) I began to exchange preaching for speaking the truth in love—in as few words as possible.

· “See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good…” (I Thessalonians 5:15) On my new path, I chose to respond in kindness and enforce healthy boundaries in place of angry retaliation.

When I dug into the word, I learned that my husband wasn’t the only one sinning.  My responses to Tom were often sinful and my response was the only thing I was responsible for. 
(What I wanted was to change my husband but I couldn’t find a biblical reference to support my desire and neither will you)!  

Focused on God and His Word, I was able to reverse negative behavioral patterns in my life which had long plagued me. 

When I did what I could do—keeping my focus on God, HE DID WHAT I COULD NOT!

He healed me and ultimately my marriage—to the praise of His glorious grace!

What you focus on grows.

Are you focused on growing your marriage?

Study Guide:

I received an advanced copy of The Beautiful Wife study, Mentor's Guide and the Prayer Journal from Litfuse Publicity and I must confess that I was extremely excited to begin reading this study and coordinating a small study group with like minded friends. But as I began reading the study, I was getting the impression that this was written for either young newly married women, engaged women or for women who are new believers. The book is well organized and written and there were a few topics that I hadn’t really focused on in my marriage before but I do believe that this study guide is for the younger about to or newly married believing wife; I think it would make for a wonderful young women’s group study at church or small group home study. I think it would be beneficial to have an older woman guide the study as well.

Mentor’s Guide:

I opted not to put together a study group only because I know very few young women at this time in my life. However, The Mentor’s guide is extremely well written and has an abundance of encouraging support along with small group instructions, hosting tips, leader material and week-by-week guidance. This is a tool I will be using in future groups.

Prayer Journal:

I found the prayer journal to be one of the better prayer journals I’ve seen in many years if not the best one I’ve seen ever! There is an introduction and a How-to guide. And then each week begins with a prayer, reflection on the prayer, a section to write prayer request and for answered prayers. A verse to memorize and a place to journal your response and some follow up or relating verses where you can also write responses to those verses.But the portion that is my favorite is the section where you list God’s attributes using scripture. If you love to journal like I do, this prayer journal is a must have.

Blog Tour Schedule

About the book:

The Beautiful Wife uses these inspiring stories along with biblical principles to guide and encourage any wife looking for God's best in her marriage. The Beautiful Wife answers serious questions women have about their roles as wives. Discussing everything from romance and money to beauty, communication, and sex, Sandy challenges women to open up and share their journeys so that together they can see God's plan for their marriages. "It is my passion to help women discover God's heart for their marriage, just as the other women helped me," writes Sandy. "When women share with each other the details of their journeys with God as wives, it's a beautiful thing indeed." The Beautiful Wife has two companion resources - Prayer Journal and Mentor's Guide.

 

 

About Sandy Ralya:

Sandy Ralya is the founder and director of Beautiful Womanhood, a marriage mentoring ministry based near Grand Rapids, Mich. Her marriage testimony was the focus of a popular three-day interview on FamilyLife Today, TV's Walking by Faith, and Time Out for Women. Sandy is a sought-after speaker, presenting Beautiful Womanhood seminars to hundreds of women each year at MOPS groups, women's retreats, and church leadership conferences across the country and in Canada. Sandy and her husband Tom have been married since 1980, and have a growing number of grandchildren. www.beautifulwomanhood.com

Celebrate with Sandy by entering her Kindle Touch Giveaway and coming to her "Beautiful Womanhood" Facebook Party {3/8}!

One beautiful winner will receive:

• A Brand new Kindle Touch with Wi-Fi
• The Beautiful Wife By Sandy Ralya
• The Beautiful Wife Prayer Journal and Mentor's Guide

Enter today by clicking one of the icons below. But hurry, the giveaway ends 3/7/12. Winner will be announced at Sandy's "Beautiful Womanhood" Facebook Party on 3/8. Sandy will be hosting an evening of chat, laughter and encouragement - bring your friends! She'll also be giving away some GREAT prizes: gift certificates, books, prayer journals and a live chat with Sandy for your Bible study or small group!

So grab your copy of The Beautiful Wife and join Sandy and friends on the evening of March 8th for an evening of fun.

Don't miss a moment of the fun. RSVP today and tell your friends via FACEBOOK or TWITTER and increase your chances of winning. Hope to see you on March 8th!

Tammy♥

**DISCLAIMER**  I received a copy of this book(s) for free in exchange for my completely honest opinion.

 

 

Mornings with Jesus 2012 Daily Encouragement for your Soul

 

 

About the book:

"Be still and know that I am God.” is one of the most beautiful verses from the Bible, but it’s not easy to practice in this busy world. Mornings with Jesus will help you do just that—“be still” in Jesus’ beautiful and powerful presence. For those who are seeking a deeper experience in their relationship with Christ, Mornings with Jesus offers a fresh perspective of who Jesus is (the Healer, the Son of God, the Comforter, the Good Shepherd) and what that means for day-to-day life. With a warm and friendly voice, 365 short devotional writings on the character and teachings of Jesus encourage readers to greet each day by drawing near to Him and inviting His presence into their day. Spend time with Jesus at the beginning of each day and experience His nearness and peace in a new way throughout the year. Each day’s selection includes: • a Bible verse • an entry based on Jesus: His words, miracles, and parables; His wisdom, compassion, and comfort; His mystery, power, divinity, and humanity • a “faith step” that will inspire and challenge readers to apply the day’s message to their lives.

My Review and Giveaway

I love reading, I read daily, sometimes several times a day! I read almost exclusively Christian books. Some will probably think that I am narrow minded but that is not why I read mostly Christian books. Growing up I read all sorts of books and loved most of them. I just enjoy reading Christian material, it’s soothing to me. I was not raised in the Lord, in fact I wasn’t saved until the very day of 9/11! That is when I gave my life to Jesus. And since that day, I can’t get enough truth, encouragement, comfort and inspiration through Christian reading.

I couldn’t wait for my copy of Mornings with Jesus to arrive and when it got here, I opened it immediately and began reading it! With every daily devotion I am blessed, encouraged and inspired. Each devotional begins with a verse and a thought from one of the many writers who collaborated on this book. The last entry for each day is a “Faith Step”, a suggestion from the writer to do something new or add to your daily walk in life.

One of the devotions I have read continues to speak to me on a daily basis, Tricia Goyer was speaking about a how she when she was growing up how she had won a prize in Vacation Bible School for memorizing the books of the Bible, how she had won a prize for selling the most Girl Scout cookies, rewards for her efforts, She goes on to say that she has found it hard not to think about rewards for her efforts in her ministry. And finally she spoke of how she doesn’t receive certificates or trinkets  as she serves the Lord but that eternal inheritance is her reward, as it is! That particular devotion spoke loudly to me as I read it because her former feelings were my feelings exactly!! That one devotion began a transformation in me; I am not working for myself, I am working for the Lord, not for myself; how arrogant I was! My reward is He who shines through me to the people I come in contact with and whom I try to help, mentor or give to!! So, thank you Tricia for the Lord leading you to write that devotion. I now do everything in the spirit of His eternal inheritance.

I could go on and on about how these devotions are spiritually lifting me and encouraging me with each passing day to not only enjoy my time with Jesus and God’s word, but to really make changes in my daily walk during my time on earth. All of these writers have so many stories to help us realize the areas of our walk that can be enhanced and/or changed. I will cherish this devotional for years to come. And although it is for 2012, I will be coming back to this year after year.

To read more reviews on Mornings with Jesus, you can go here to The Litfuse Group. There you will find many more reviews.

If you would like to get your own copy of Mornings with Jesus, you can pick a copy up here.

Now for the giveaway! I am giving away one copy of Mornings with Jesus. Leave a comment below and share this post on Facebook and Twitter. Each action will earn you 1 entry for a total of 3 entries. Come back and tell me where you have shared this review and you will get an extra entry in the drawing which will be held on February 24th.

Tammy♥

 

**DISCLAIMER** I have received this free copy in exchange for my honest opinion.

 

 

FOUR LETTER WORDS By Bill Giovannetti

 

About Four Letter Words:

Thou shalt tolerate every opinion... except the Christian's. Today's postmodern "prime directive" leaves many followers of Jesus tongue-tied. In the global village, isn't it unreasonable, and even dangerous, to suggest that the Bible has a monopoly on truth?

The church needs a new breed of Christ-follower. We need Christ-followers who are alert to today's touchy ideas, the truths that fire up more heat than light. We need Christ-followers who can make a clear case for the Bible's worldview; who are ready to help our friends think through their beliefs; who can recognize inconsistencies and challenge them; and who can do all of this with humility, confidence, humor, and love. For more information visit http://fourletterwords.org and to purchase his book, Go HERE.

About Bill Giovannetti:

Dr. Bill Giovannetti is a professor at A.W. Tozer Theological Seminary and the senior pastor of Neighborhood Church of Redding. An experienced speaker and author, Bill informs the mind in ways that touch the heart. He enjoys life with his wife and two kids in northern California. For more information about Bill and his other books, visit http://maxgrace.wordpress.com and http://fourletterwords.org.

Giveaway!!

Bill is celebrating the new Kindle edition of Four Letter Words (for only $4.99)! He’ll be traveling coast to coast over the next few weeks on this virtual book tour and he's celebrating by hosting a great giveaway!

Click here (http://fourletterwords.org/2012/01/contest-giveaway) to find out how you can win two gift certificates to Amazon (in the amount of $50 and $25) and free downloads of his yet-to-be-released title, Recession-Proof: Living a God-Blessed Life in a Messed Up World.

The whole scoop here: http://fourletterwords.org/2012/01/contest-giveaway/

My Review

When I first saw the title of this book, it peeked my curiosity so I requested a copy to review from Litfuse Publicity. I must say, I was quite surprised how much thought and care Bill Giovannetti took in writing this very much needed book on how we as believers can speak up and stand firm in our faith without offending the people we talk to about our faith. His approach on the issues of today and today’s culture are direct but yet respectful and to the heart. Four Letter Words jam packed with the information we need to help us stand firm in our faith and it is an excellent resource for preparing our sons and daughters for the world. It would also make for a great resource for bible study. I encourage everyone, Christian or not who has ever wondered what and why they believe the way they do to pick up a copy. Take time to and care in reading this, you will get more out of it and you’ll be glad you did!

Tammy

Blog Tour Schedule

**Disclaimer** I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest written opinion.

Nearing Home by Billy Graham

Book Description

“I never thought I would live to be this old.”

In this moving narrative, Billy Graham once again takes up the pen not only to share his personal experience of growing older but also teach us some important lessons on how to view our time here on Earth. He says that the Bible makes it clear that God has a specific reason for keeping us here. So what is His purpose for these years, and how can we align our lives with it? How can we not only learn to cope with the fears and struggles and growing limitations we face but actually grow stronger inwardly in the midst of these difficulties?

In what may be his most powerful message of the last decade, Billy Graham speaks to all on this side of Heaven as he covers the importance of four key areas:

Building strong foundations and understanding the gift of years

Facing life’s transitions, including the passing of years, retirement, and when loved ones die

Making wise decisions

Understanding our glorious hope

“In this book I invite you to explore with me not only the realities of life as we grow older but the hope and fulfillment and even joy that can be ours once we learn to look at these years from God’s point of view and discover His strength to sustain us every day. I pray that you and I may learn what it means not only to grow older, but, with God’s help, to grow older with grace.”

My Review

Billy Graham has been given the gift power, the power of words from Almighty God himself. His messages are so powerful and thought provoking in which you have to sit back and  pause, reflect and ponder what he is telling you. As I read his book Nearing Home, I couldn’t help but stop and think about my life’s past, present and future. As I reflected on my past, I remembered things I thought I had forgotten or so I thought and I had to ask God for forgiveness in the things I had said or that I had done in my youth. Some of it was very painful so much so, I had to put his book down and go back to it later. The Lord through him has made me realize some things I need to work on now, presently. And the things I need to begin getting in order now so that my children won’t have to deal with them when I am gone.

Nearing Home is a wonderfully warm and informational read and I recommend it highly! This glimpse into growing old will help everyone who reads it, some of “what to expect” as we grow old. I hope you will pick up a copy and that you enjoy it as much as I have.

** DISCLAIMER** I have received this copy free in exchange for my honest opinion.

A Year With Jesus by R.P. Nettelhorst

Book Description

Too many times the impact and grandness of the actual words Jesus spoke, as recorded in the Bible, are lost in the telling of the story. In A Year with Jesus, the primary focus is to allow the scriptures that contain Jesus' dialogue to uniquely speak to the reader. The author follows each reading with insights and applications to help explain the context and nuances of the text. The unique titling of each meditation and the nontraditional themes and organization help bring Jesus to our daily lives. Topics include:

Love and Hate

Truths and Lies

Arrogance and Humility

Friends and Enemies

Belief and Disbelief

Patience and Impatience

Deserved and Undeserved

Good and Evil

Fidelity and Treachery

Life and Death

My Review

This is a book that you will want to have for the up coming new year and it is a book, given as a gift that would be treasured throughout the year by it’s recipient. Though we don’t always “count our blessings” throughout the year weather it is because life is just so hectic or because we have so much on our minds,  ten minutes each morning reading the short devotions on topics such as love and hate, patience, friends, truth and lies, will ease the difficulties that we face throughout each day. It is a thought provoking devotional that I have truly enjoyed.

Although my personal preference of scripture is the King’s James version, A Year With Jesus has many scriptural versions throughout this devotional. It is an easy and understandable read that when I am going about my day, I find myself reflecting on that particular mornings reading.

You can find it HERE. I highly recommend this devotional to start your day!

Tammy♥